Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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