i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
