Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize