oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
