The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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