i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
