Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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