ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
