Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
