I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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