Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
