I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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