South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
