So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's just like the Real World with babies
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
