We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
