I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
