I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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