i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
