So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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