If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
