also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
