Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
