just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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