nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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