i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize