My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
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