My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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