Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
