His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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