He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
