I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
