yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
