i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
