dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize