so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
