I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize