I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
