I'm passing your future prison.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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