I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
