We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
