it was like eating out sand paper
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
