His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
