The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
