like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
