What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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