you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize