even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
