A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
