her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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