I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
