you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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