St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize