I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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