I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
