How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize