I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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