I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize