dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
