Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
