You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize