sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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