I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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