Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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