Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
