This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize