there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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